An American in the Family
Me at fruit market: Mangoes and Sweet Sop (custard apple, Viet cherimoya)
There was great anticipation in my arrival to Đà Nẵng because Cousin Diane was bringing home an American! Just ask Little Su Hy (age 3) who had been telling all of her friends there is an American in the family. Almost anywhere you read about Americans traveling to Việt-Nam, you’ll hear of tales of how warmly they are welcomed; the war a long forgotten and forgiven memory. Our trip to Vietnam taught me that this welcoming isn’t merely extended to travelers, but exponentially more so to family add-ons. At least it was for me.
I was greeted with smiles and hugs, and a few looks of happy curiosity. The incredibly cute and feisty Su Hy couldn’t stop staring at me, “the American”, but when prompted to go over & say “Hi” she’d vehemently shake her head “No” as if you’d just asked her to give up her candy. I didn’t feel too bad because she did it to Diane the whole time, too. Within minutes, the family had swallowed me up and made me one of them for our entire stay in Đà Nẵng.
Niece Su Hy staring at me, “The American”. I saw this stare the whole time!
Most of the family doesn’t speak much English, and unfortunately I don’t speak much Vietnamese beyond food, numbers, and “thank you.” Diane translated and explained when needed, but as the week went on, less and less was needed. Jokes were exchanged with a few simple words or gestures, and we all had fun helping each other learn one another’s language. Diane was the incredible teacher helping all of us retrain our mouths to make a decent pronunciation of the foreign words. After a scant 5 minutes of trying to properly pronounce Vietnamese words, my mouth and jaw would be tired and fumbling. It was like having to relearn how to speak all over again. On the English spectrum, we helped them learn the difference between saying “ace” and “eight”, all important pronunciation in a games of cards.
The cousins in particular embedded us into the family. We hopped on the the back of their scooters and explored Đà Nẵng the way only locals can. We played cards and chinese checkers in cafes, some of which were more hip and stylish than anything I’ve seen in the U.S., hit all of the open markets allowing us to find incredible photo opportunities and score a few great buys, and we ate and ate and ate the street foods. Did I mentioned we ate there, a lot?! Bańh xeò (crispy crepes), seafood Nhậu (Viet style tapas w/booze), Râu Cau Dưà (agar dessert with coconut milk), many kilos of Chôm Chôm (rhambutans), Xoaì (mangoes), and other tropical fruits. We even ate green colored oranges. It’d take an novel to cover all the different foods we consumed, so I’ll spare the details (for later posts) and just say that everything was tasty and super fresh.
Game of checkers and iced tea at Katynat Coffee House
Bonding over Vietnamese coffees (café sữa đá, café sữa nóng, café đen, etc…) and cold beer, chatting and joking while cruising on the back of the scooters while we navigated the swarm of Đà Nẵng traffic, trekking into the jungle hoping to avoid leeches and malaria, and eating at some of their favorite places on the sidewalks and in the cafes, it was quick and easy to love my Viet family. I admired their humor, intelligence, and saavvy. They are an incredible clan that I am happy to be one of. – Todd
A much deserved seafood Nhau after the long jungle trek. I was about ready to waive the white surrender flag, can’t you tell? We ate SO MUCH FOOD! This was our third food stop for the evening, and not the last!
Previous Viet-Nam posts you might enjoy reading and viewing:
Oh Todd,
You really warm my heart with joy to hear about your life’s adventures.
You and Diane are truly a Gift to our World.
Namaste & Love
I am enchanted with the photos and stories of your journey. Viet Nam has been the top stop on my must-go list for years….trying desperately to make the time.
Hi Todd & Diane! I enjoyed reading your Vietnam posts and seeing the pictures. It’s sweet sop season here in India (we call it custard apple, though), and I bought three fine specimens yesterday.
That’s so wonderful how you’re welcomed with open arms! Thanks for sharing such intimate thoughts… was a great read! Haven’t made it to Vietnam, but it’s on my doorstep (Oz) so hopefully one day… 🙂
Pat – Good luck on the meet and greet next year! I’m sure they’ll love him as much as you do. Indonesia is another beautiful exotic place I’d love to visit.
Melissa – It’s been fun being part of Diane’s large family. I, too came from a small family, but after over 12 years I really enjoy being part of Diane’s large fam. Transitioning between Vietnamese and English is hard. Vietnamese is one of the most tonal languages and English is one of the flattest. You have to totally retrain how you use your mouth, throat, tongue, and air to change from one to the other. Much more difficult than merely learning vocabulary and grammar.
Simply…Gluten-free – Thanks, Carol. We’ll have to take you over there one of these times to meet her. She can stare at all of us for a week straight. And shake her head “No!” 😉
Jen Yu – Aww, Jen, you’re making me blush! D’s the mean haggler. Glad she’s on my side. We’ll have to get together and catch up on stories!
Todd is such a cutie!!! I love hearing him speak Vietnamese 🙂 But not as much as I love hearing Diane talk the lady down on the price of lychees! You guys are wonderful. Looks like a lot of fun hanging out with family. Mmmm, the food. I still have lovely memories of the awesome food we had at your place. xxoo
Beautifully written, wonderful sentiment. How cute is that niece of yours?
Aw Todd that’s awesome. To be a part of another family like that. I remember feeling that way when I joined my husband’s huge family. I came from such a small one, it was a shock, but they pulled me right in.
After just 5 minutes of trying to properly pronounce a Viet word, my mouth and jaw would be tired.
Oh lordy I can imagine. I personally have the hardest time with Viet pronunciation, more so than almost any other language. I don’t know why.
And the niece? ADORABLE!!
What a fun and heartwarming story! I’m planning to introduce my husband to all my relatives in Indonesia next year–we’ve been married 6 years and hardly anyone has met him because of the distance. Family is family regardless of race or country of origin. Thank you for sharing!
maybelles mom – that foreigner curiosity is so cute. Hopefully we don’t scare them & taint their views of Americans forever 😉
Marvin – It wasn’t too hard to communicate w/ Diane being fluent. Plus smiles go a long way. Looks like you got further than me, Su Hy never did get past the head shake “no”. We just smiled & laughed.
Lisa – I’m more trouble than I look. “Todd” means sly fox, you know.
Andrea – Be careful with the Viet coffee, it’s highly addicting. We are actually going to post about it soon. Stay tuned.
sharon – The food was sooooo good. We can’t even touch our occasional junk food since coming back home. Just isn’t appealing. We’re spoiled.
RecipeGirl – Yeah. I got lots of stares and flirtations. Once you smile, nearly everyone just lights up.
noobcook – It took us forever to finally go to Vietnam together. We’re already saving to go back again ASAP. Felt like home.
MyKitchenInHalfCups – She was incredibly adorable.
Manggy – The tears were fought going home. P.S. Thanks for the correction. You are on the money.
Rita – If my Brazilian friends are any reflection, he will have an incredible time. I went to Vietnam with no expectations and an open view, and loved every moment of it. Hopefully it will be the same for your husband in Brazil.
Kitt – They were an utter joy.
Happy Cook – 20 years and still staring. I am forewarned.
Lyrical Lemongrass – Thank you. An open heart and mind. That’s all it takes. More stories to come.
Leah – Travel is one of the greatest things we can do. Take us outside our routines and see more of the world. I never come home unaffected. New culinary inspirations to come. Get ready to eat!
ECM – I hope his family realizes how incredible you are, now. Traveling is the best.
Nan Slaughter – It pretty hard to cause embarrassment in Vietnam. It seems like half the population spend 75% of the time in PJ’s, and their some of their morning exercises you would never see being done in the US. Especially in Hanoi. Super cute and dorky. I love it. I now know where Diane gets it from. She definitely has Hanoi blood.
Julie – We almost stole Su Hy and took her home. But she shook her head “no” 😉
Dani – Yep. First trip and definitely not the last. Can’t wait to go back. Can’t wait to share new cooking stuff, too.
Dee – What a great combo. Your son is representing a majority of the world in one soul.
grace – It was even more adorable because she was so feisty, yet shy at the same time.
vernon – The fruit was incredible over there.
Psychgrad – We had the best trip. We were lone travelers in Hanoi, and local family tour guides in Da Nang. Both separate and priceless experiences.
Sounds like an amazing experience. There’s nothing like seeing a region/country with local guides. Love the pictures!
The one you call custard apple , I call it atis! And how I miss eating that fruit and that includes spitting out the seed :D. Keep the pictures coming !
the little girl is adorable–i can only imagine receiving that stare the whole time. 🙂 families are so important, and i’m glad ya’ll have a good one.
How wonderful it is to belong to such a warm and giving family. And cross-cultural, too. My son is a quarter Welsh, quarter Indian, quarter Malay and quarter Sinhalese – what a wonderful world we live in!
I’m glad you had a lovely time. And thank you both for your kind words.
The richest families are the ones that cross cultures. I’m so glad you had a wonderful time. Was this the first trip over there for Todd? Can hardly wait to see your new recipes. It must have been really inspiring, all that food you consumed. 😉
Su Hy is so cute!
That sounds like a lovely family reunion. There’s something very touching about how welcomed and accepted Americans are in Vietnam.